Keely, 22, has known her fiancé Nash, 26, for two years
And now that they’re getting married, the couple has decided to see whose side Nash’s mom would take if he suddenly became mean to Keely
keely1123: Can you pass me the butter, please?
Fiancé: The thing is already soaked in butter; do you really think you need more butter? It’s like a lot of calories. You were supposed to be on a fitness thing anyway.
MIL: Excuse me. Hey, who raised you?
Fiancé: You did.
MIL: I did and I did not raise you to be talking to her like that. She asked you for something—you need to get it for her.
Fiancé: I was trying to help her out; it’s for her benefit.
MIL: She doesn’t need you counting her calories or intake of her butter. She wants butter; she can have butter.
Fiancé: She was supposed to turn over a new leaf this next New Year; she’s just not paying attention, apparently.
MIL: Who are you? Seriously, who are you? Because you are not my child, I didn’t raise you like this.
Fiancé: Oh, I tried to be helpful.
MIL: Do you realize that you outkick your coverage with this girl?
Fiancé: Oh, I don’t know about that. You sure about that one?
MIL: I don’t understand you. I didn’t raise you to talk to her that way, to any woman that way. You don’t treat me that way.
Mother- and daughter-in-law relationships are often tricky, particularly at the start
To learn more about these kinds of relationships, we got in touch with Susan Newman, Ph.D., social psychologist, a regular contributor to Psychology Today, and author of such books as Under One Roof Again: All Grown Up And (Re)Learning To Live Together Happily and The Book of No: 365 Ways to Say it and Mean it—and Stop People-Pleasing Forever.
“Your in-laws, whether you like them or not, can be the glue of your family,” Newman told Bored Panda. “When the relationships are warm, they thrive. In families that means having people you love, trust, and can rely on. You look forward to get-togethers and holiday celebrations. It’s important to realize that how you treat your in-laws (and they treat you) and parents set an example for any children in the family—and models how you would like your children to treat you decades from now.”
“That said, keeping difficulties at bay can be super tricky,” she added. “One off-putting comment or action can upset one or the other for a long time, creating unpleasant tensions and limited access to a son or daughter or to a mother or father.”
The dynamic between a mother-in-law and her daughter-in-law can be especially tricky.
