owever, it can catch you off guard even if you did the homework. To learn more about that, Reddit user TooManyStars asked parents who adopted a child and then regretted it, to share what made them feel this way.
And even though the topic may seem taboo, it can help many to avoid this heartbreaking situation, so we compiled the most honest replies, and are inviting you to read them.
#1
I’m not a parent but I am an adopted child.
My parents would never say that they regret adopting my siblings and I but I know that they do.
My siblings and I (3 of us total) were in a really bad family situation before. We were taken from our home (for our safety) and were going to be separated.
My adoptive parents had just gotten married. They were married before with kids from those marriages and in their early fifties.
They saved us but sacrificed everything to keep us together. Now that we’re all grown, I see the burden we put on them. They severely delayed their retirement because kids aren’t cheap. They put up with years of us dealing with trauma from our previous life. They gave us everything we needed and more.
All of this while they should have been enjoying the bliss of their new marriage and closing in on the relaxation of their retirement. They didn’t get either of those things.
They got 3 damaged kids.
I don’t know why they did that for us but I am forever grateful. They won’t admit that they regret it but I can only imagine they do.
#2
I’m the adoptee. My adoptive mom had some kidney problems that prevented her from carrying a child. Or so she thought. She was told later that she could have. She told me that had she known then what she knows now that she wouldn’t have adopted me and would have had “her own” children instead. I was about 12 at the time and it was devastating.
#3
Actual foster parent here (haven’t adopted). I never regret the kids. I completely regret becoming a foster parent, probably mostly because of the county that I did. It’s the bureaucratic b******t and the courts and workers that don’t care about the kids that I can’t stand. I’ve had some really tough kids, and one had to move because we couldn’t keep him safe, but I’ve loved them all regardless of their behaviors.
4
#5
I’ve told this story a few times, but we adopted a 3 year old. He had a few behavior issues, which we attributed to trauma and sought appropriate help. He did well for several years, but when he turned 9 he began displaying dangerous behaviors. Hurting animals, hoarding things in his room, making suicidal comments, sexually inappropriate. We ramped up the doc visits and therapy, but he was still admitted to the hospital 3 times before he turned 10. When he was 10, we woke up to our house burning down. He thought it was a party. Spent a few years in a facility, till insurance got sick of paying. They told us we could pay $40k a month to keep him there or bring him home. We have other younger children and his therapist agreed it wasn’t safe. So we refused to pick him up, and now we have a child abuse (for abandonment) record.
